Low-pressure dating apps for introverts to try this November

Homebodies can still date, too.
By Rudie Obias , Bethany Allard , and Tabitha Britt  on 
Editors and writers independently select products unless marked Sponsored or Promoted. Sponsored content is a paid ad, while content marked Promoted is chosen by Ziff Davis leadership. We may earn an affiliate commission if you buy through our links. Promoted cards do not include input from individual authors.

Overview

Best overall

Hinge

Jump to Details
Best dating app for left-wing introverts

OkCupid

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PROMOTED
For those looking for sex

AdultFriendFinder

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Best paid dating app

Match

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Best dating app for marriage

eharmony

Jump to Details
Best dating app for over-50 singles

SilverSingles

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Best dating app for shy guys

Bumble

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Best dating app for planning dates IRL

CoffeeMeetsBagel

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Best dating app for introverted professionals

EliteSingles

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Best personality type dating app

Boo

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Best queer dating app

Lex

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Best AI dating app

Iris

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Best for hopeless romantics

happn

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Best as a last resort option

Zoosk

Jump to Details
See 9 More

Table of Contents

If the thought of ordering a drink at a crowded bar or making small talk with strangers at a party fills you with the incomprehensible urge to jump out the nearest window, you’re probably an introvert — and that’s totally okay! We see you. We are you.

There’s no shame in being more comfortable curled up with a good book than out on the town, but that doesn’t mean you have to resign yourself to a life of solitude, either. In fact, introverts make for amazing partners, lovers, and friends — once we get to know someone.

Where do introverts meet people to date?

This may come as a shock, but dating apps (and even some of the old-school dating sites that are still hanging around) are the place for introverts. On these platforms, you can show off who you really are without feeling the pressure to constantly be “on” like you might in a traditional social setting.

illusration of two people sitting in a coffee shop
If you've ever brought a book to a restaurant, we see you. Credit: Ian Moore / Mashable

Yes, it’s true that dating apps still get a bad rap as a last resort for the desperate, but for introverts, these nifty little tools provide a much-needed buffer that allows us to slowly and comfortably get to know potential partners. When you meet someone online, you can take the time to build the kind of deep, meaningful connections that often feel out of reach in today’s fast-paced, surface-level dating culture.

What dating apps do introverts use?

Even though we’re big fans of online dating, especially for our introverted readers, not all dating platforms are created equal. Tinder, for example, is pretty much the polar opposite of what introverts are looking for. Its hookup-centric interface and “swipe left” model are a recipe for disaster for shy singles who prefer to get to know their matches before jumping into bed. (If dating apps were places, Tinder would be the crowded sports bar.)

Instead, we’ve found dating apps like Hinge, OkCupid, and Match are much better suited for introverts. Unlike Tinder, these dating platforms encourage users to share a little bit more about themselves, from lengthy profile bios to lists of interests and deal-breakers.

So, to help you find your person — the one who’ll understand and appreciate you for who you truly are — we’ve rounded up the best dating sites for introverts just like you. (Including a few niche dating sites and some picks for hooking up because we all have needs. Just because you're introverted doesn't mean you can't have a little fun.)

Our Pick

Who it's for:

If you're an introvert in your late 20s or early 30s and you're looking for something a bit more substantial than Tinder (but not as serious as eharmony), then we recommend trying Hinge. It's designed to help even the shyest singles express themselves comfortably and authentically with on-profile prompts, photos, videos, audio clips, and more.

Why we picked this:

We chose Hinge as the best dating app for introverts overall. Unlike Tinder and other swipe-based apps, Hinge slows things down and encourages you to actually connect with people by showing you one potential match at a time. This allows you to truly focus on each person and see if you vibe with them without feeling overwhelmed.

Hinge also makes it easier to share your interests and quirks with prompts, photos, and videos. Plus, they've got features that were basically designed for introverts, like "Hidden Words" to filter out unwanted content and "Your Turn Limits" to keep conversations flowing naturally (without feeling pressured). While we're bummed that Hinge recently retired its video and audio call features, we still think it's the best overall app for introverts who crave meaningful connections without the overwhelm.

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A drawn hand holding a phone with the okcupid logo

OkCupid

Best dating app for left-wing introverts

Read our full review of OkCupid.

Who it's for:

If you're an introvert who leans left politically and wants to find a partner who shares your progressive values, OkCupid might just be the dating app you've been waiting for. This app is known for its inclusive community and its focus on social justice issues, so you can be upfront about your beliefs and find someone who aligns with you on a more serious level. It's a community (we found a lot of 25-to-34-year-olds) where you can wear your heart on your sleeve, share your passions, and find someone who gets you, not just your photos.

Why we picked this:

OkCupid is by far one of the most popular liberal dating sites that isn't actually marketed as such (other political apps like Lefty, caniDate, and Liberal Hearts are pretty upfront about that). It stands out among dating platforms for its algorithms, formulas, and user-generated responses, making it a great option for introverts.

Unlike the fast-paced, swipe-centric dating apps (read: Tinder) that can feel draining for introverts, OkCupid encourages a more deliberate and thoughtful approach to online dating. You can take your time browsing profiles, engaging in meaningful conversations, and discovering shared interests before deciding whether or not you want to hop into bed with someone. It's a space where you can be yourself, find your people, and build relationships that matter.

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Details

A drawn hand holding a phone with the AdultFriendFinder logo
PROMOTED

AdultFriendFinder

For those looking for sex

The Good

The Bad

Details

A drawn hand holding a phone with the match logo

Match

Best paid dating app

Read our full review of Match.

Who it's for:

Match is the best dating app for introverts who want to take it slow and meet real adults. Most users are between 30 and 49, so you're likely to find people who are established in their careers, have a clear sense of who they are, and are looking for something meaningful. Plus, with the 50+ age group being the fastest-growing demographic on the app, Match offers a diverse pool of potential partners.

Why we picked this:

We chose Match as the top paid dating app for introverts because it understands that finding the right person takes time. It's all about quality over quantity, with in-depth profiles that let you get to know someone before even saying "hello." And with its advanced search filters, you can connect with people who genuinely share your interests, whether it's books, board games, or obscure indie bands. That means you can skip the awkward small talk and have conversations that matter from the get-go.

Another introvert-friendly feature we love? Incognito Mode. This premium feature (it's not available for free users, unfortunately) lets you browse profiles without anyone knowing you've checked them out. It's a great way to get a feel for the community and see who sparks your interest before putting yourself out there.

Match even has Jay Shetty, the renowned author and podcast host, as their relationship advisor, so you can get extra guidance on finding your ideal partner and building the perfect profile. But even without Shetty's wisdom, Match is still a winner for introverts.

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A drawn hand holding a phone with the eharmony logo

eharmony

Best dating app for marriage

Read our full review of eharmony

Who it's for:

If you're an introvert ready to settle down and find a long-term partner, eharmony might be a good fit. It's designed for those who are serious about finding someone who shares their values and is ready for a long-term commitment, whether that means moving in together or getting married. While eharmony has a history of catering to a more traditional audience, it's become a bit more inclusive in recent years. They now allow same-sex matches and even partnered with GLAAD on National Coming Out Day to explore how dating apps can support the LGBTQ+ community.

Why we picked this:

We chose eharmony as the best dating app for marriage because it's made for singles who are ready to find a partner who's in it for the long haul. Their compatibility matching system analyzes 32 different dimensions of your personality and values to connect you with potential matches. All you have to do is fill out their questionnaire, and boom, you'll start getting matches based on something more than superficial attraction.

The RelyID feature makes sure everyone on the app is legit, so you can breathe easy knowing you're not talking to bots or catfishers. Plus, their privacy settings keep your profile hidden from anyone you're not compatible with, which means you're less likely to get creepy messages from randos.

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A drawn hand holding a phone with the SilverSingles logo

SilverSingles

Best dating app for over-50 singles

Who it's for:

If you're an introvert over 50 who knows that love doesn't have an expiration date, SilverSingles could be the place to meet your perfect match. It's specifically designed for users who've got some life experience under their belts and aren't interested in playing games. Whether you're re-entering the dating scene after a long break or looking for marriage, SilverSingles can help you write the next chapter of your love story, proving that age is just a number when it comes to matters of the heart.

Why we picked this:

SilverSingles (a sister site of EliteSingles and Mashable's top pick for the best dating app for seniors) is designed for people over 50 looking for serious, meaningful relationships. It places a strong emphasis on compatibility and only shows three to five matches per day. This helps reduce stress and makes it easier to focus on the matches that are most likely to be a good fit.

Each SilverSingles profile includes a wealth of information, such as your personality type, interests, and relationship goals. This gives you a good understanding of each potential match before starting a conversation.

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A drawn hand holding a phone with the Bumble logo

Bumble

Best dating app for shy guys

Read our full review of Bumble.

Who it's for:

Bumble is designed for women and non-binary individuals who want to take control of their dating experience. It empowers them to make the first move, providing a refreshing alternative to traditional dating apps.

With Bumble, women and non-binary folks can avoid the frustration of receiving spam messages or encountering inactive matches commonly found on other platforms. (And, if you're an introverted man, it takes the pressure off of having to come up with conversation starters.)

Why we picked this:

We chose Bumble because it flips the script on traditional dating dynamics, giving women and non-binary users the power to make the first move. This is a major win for introverts, as it takes the pressure off initiating conversations and allows for a more comfortable and controlled dating experience.

Bumble relaunched its "First Move" feature in April 2024, giving users new ways to break the ice. Women and non-binary people now have the option to set (or create) "Opening Moves," a question that all their matches can answer. That means no more awkward "hey..." messages.

Bumble works similarly to other dating apps but with some key differences. Matches expire after 24 hours, so you don't have to worry about a million unread messages piling up. This keeps things moving and prevents that overwhelming feeling of having too many options. Plus, with its new AI photo detector, you can feel more confident that the people you're chatting with are showing their true selves, too.

And for those times when you're not necessarily looking for romance, Bumble's got you covered. You can also try Bumble BFF for finding platonic friends and Bumble Bizz for networking.

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A drawn hand holding a phone with the Coffee Meets Bagel logo

CoffeeMeetsBagel

Best dating app for planning dates IRL

Who it's for:

Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB) is a dating app for busy singles looking to build real connections with little to no effort. Most users are genuinely looking for something serious, so combining those factors means you'll find a lot of the young professional crowd in their late 20s and early 30s on this app. (It's kind of like EliteSingles for millennials.)

Why we picked this:

CMB uses an algorithm that considers factors from basic information (like location and age) to more nuanced criteria (like social network and interests) to match you with potential partners who align with your preferences. This thoughtful matching process helps introverts by reducing the need for extensive browsing and swiping, saving time and energy.

Instead of overwhelming users with endless choices, CMB curates a single match for each user daily. This approach allows for a more focused and deliberate dating experience, giving users time to fully consider each potential connection. Additionally, CMB provides icebreaker questions to facilitate a smooth initial conversation, and the chat room expires after seven days, encouraging users to move beyond the app and meet in person.

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A drawn hand holding a phone with the elite singles logo

EliteSingles

Best dating app for introverted professionals

Read our comparison of eharmony vs. EliteSingles.

Who it's for:

If you're a workaholic introvert, EliteSingles is the dating app for you. The platform is particularly popular among educated and relatively affluent adults aged 30 to 55. With a gender breakdown of 56 percent women and 44 percent men, EliteSingles offers a diverse user base of over 12 million individuals. In big cities like New York, you'll find up to 800,000 users — at least, according to EliteSingles itself.

If you're too career-focused and introverted to find a date offline, this is a decent place to start.

Why we picked this:

We chose EliteSingles as the best dating app for working professionals because it caters to people who value intelligence, ambition, and finding a partner who understands the hustle. But it's not just for career-driven folks – it's also a great fit for introverts looking for a deeper connection.

EliteSingles favors compatibility over swiping. After you sign up, you'll take a (surprisingly interesting) personality test that matches you with people who share your values, interests, and even your quirky sense of humor.

Since everyone on EliteSingles is looking for something a bit more substantial, you're less likely to encounter those dreaded one-word responses or endless small talk. Instead, you can connect with other professionals who understand your need for quiet nights after a long week at work. Plus, with a user base full of successful individuals from a variety of fields, you're more likely to find someone who gets the ups and downs of your career, too.

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A drawn hand holding a phone with the Boo logo

Boo

Best personality type dating app

Who it's for:

Boo is ideal for introverts who are looking for a dating app that feels like a social networking experience. This platform understands that introverts thrive in intimate settings and value deeper connections over surface-level small talk. It goes the extra mile by matching you with compatible individuals based on your personality type. Through an in-depth personality test, Boo delves into the depths of your character, ensuring you're connected with people who truly understand you.

Why we picked this:

If Twitter and Mastodon had a baby (and used Snapchat as its logo inspiration), it'd be Boo. This online dating site combines the best elements of both worlds, offering a unique blend of social networking and microblogging features.

Boo provides a more intimate and curated experience for those who thrive with quieter, more meaningful interactions. By joining themed communities, known as "universes," you can immerse yourself in topics and discussions that resonate with your passions.

Whether you're a bookworm seeking fellow literary enthusiasts, a gaming aficionado looking for teammates, or an art lover eager to connect with fellow creatives, Boo has a universe waiting for you.

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A drawn hand holding a phone with the Lex logo

Lex

Best queer dating app

Who it's for:

Lex is a social networking platform that welcomes anyone who identifies as part of the LGBTQ+ community (though the user base does tend to skew towards lesbian and non-binary folks). It provides a platform for queer friendship and community building and expanding your social circle.

Instead of relying on swiping or selfies, the app encourages users to express themselves through personal "ads" and notes about their personality, interests, and the type of partner they're looking for.

Why we picked this:

Lex isn't your average dating app – it's more like a chill hangout spot for LGBTQ+ folks to connect and build community. There's no need to worry about perfect profile pics or witty opening lines. Just be yourself and see who you vibe with.

You can post, edit, and delete personal ads whenever you want while sharing your thoughts, interests, and desires. The environment is low-key, perfect for introverts who feel overwhelmed by the typical dating scene. And though some folks were bummed when Lex shifted its focus from dating to friendship and community-building in early 2023, the founder promises there's still plenty of room for raunchy posts.

“We encourage Lexers looking for dates and hookups to continue horny posting on Lex! It’s their space to connect for love, friendship, and more," Lex founder Kell Rakowski told TechCrunch.

In more recent news, Lex was acquired by 9count (a company that specializes in building social networks for niche communities) in September. We're hoping this means Lex will have more resources to develop new features, improve the app, and strengthen its content moderation.

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A drawn hand holding a phone with the Iris logo

Iris

Best AI dating app

Who it's for:

If you're a shy person who isn't too excited about putting yourself out there (for fear of ghosting, rejection, or awkward first dates), an AI dating app like Iris might be worth trying.

This AI dating app takes you through three phases of "tests" to see which facial features you find most attractive. It uses that information to handpick potential matches, increasing your chances of finding someone who sparks genuine attraction and igniting a connection without sifting through countless profiles.

Why we picked this:

Unlike traditional dating apps, Iris considers your preferences by learning what you like before you even start. And, in a creepy but cool way, it lets you upload photos of people you find attractive to create a more personalized matching experience (but only if you want to). And, to get to know you even better, it gives you the option to specify why you passed or liked someone's profile to refine your matches further.

But it's not all about looks. Iris also tries to get into your interests through fill-in-the-blank prompts and offers "flavors," essentially tags that let your profile speak for itself. It also introduces a TrustRating system, where the more complete your profile is, the higher your rating. Additionally, all users must undergo selfie verification to ensure authenticity.

We didn't like the geolocation feature, as it may show you matches way outside of your distance, but the creators believe that distance shouldn't be a barrier to finding true connections.

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A drawn hand holding a phone with the Happn logo

happn

Best for hopeless romantics

Who it's for:

Happn is a dating app for hopelessly romantic introverts who believe in the magic of missed connections. If you daydream about chance encounters and serendipitous meet-cutes, this app could be your digital fairy tale. The app attracts a younger, swiping-oriented crowd, similar to other popular dating apps like Tinder. With around 70 million users and consistent monthly growth, happn has created a sizable user base that provides ample opportunities to discover and connect with people you've crossed paths with in the real world.

Why we picked this:

Believing in love at first sight is hard when you're too nervous about introducing yourself at first sight. Happn uses your current location to alert you of other users nearby. This feature is particularly valuable for introverts who may struggle with approaching strangers in public settings.

Happn acts as a virtual wingman, alerting you to potential matches you've crossed paths with in everyday situations, such as on the train or in a coffee shop. If you want to find love in your community (and with people who potentially share similar hobbies and schedules), this is the app to start with.

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A drawn hand holding a phone with the Zoosk logo

Zoosk

Best as a last resort option

Read our full review of Zoosk.

Who it's for:

Zoosk caters to a wide range of individuals, but it's far from a decent dating site. If you really feel like you're out of options, it works as a last-choice option for introverts who want to explore the world of online dating.

Why we don't recommend this:

The idea behind Zoosk is it starts to understand you more and more as time goes on to help introduce you to the person you can spend the night or the rest of your life with, as the site's unique algorithm recognizes your preferences through the actions you take. The only problem is there doesn't seem to be a bunch of humans actually using the website. Once you log on, you'll realize that while Zoosk may have been a great place to meet people in the past, it's now a shadow of its former self. 

Features like SuperSend, which blasts out a message to a ton of users at once, may technically start a conversation but are basically Zoosk's built-in version of a spam message. We can't imagine the introvert who'd want a bunch of people responding to them when they don't even know if they want to be talking to them in the first place. Zoosk's features, including messaging, are behind their sky-high subscription fees. For a site that doesn't feel current, we have a hard time recommending it.

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How we tested

Dating as an introvert can be tricky... We get it. We know how overwhelming and exhausting it can be to get on the apps. That's why we put ourselves in your shoes and tested dozens of platforms to find the ones that prioritize personality matching, user-friendliness, privacy, and meaningful connections.

Here's how we found the best dating apps for introverts:

  • We actually used them. We created profiles (lots of them!), swiped, chatted, and experienced the apps firsthand to see how they really work.

  • We prioritized your personality. We wanted to make sure these apps could connect you with someone who gets your introverted side, so we tested how their algorithms handled different personality types and preferences.

  • We valued your comfort. We looked for apps with a calm, low-pressure vibe, strong privacy features, and tools that make connecting with others feel natural and enjoyable.

  • User-friendliness, privacy features, success rates, and overall vibe: We looked for apps that were easy to use and offered privacy features. (No one wants to feel overwhelmed or exposed.) We also made sure the sites had a good track record of helping people find meaningful connections.

  • Features that make getting (and keeping) conversations easier: We looked for apps with features that make starting and keeping conversations natural and enjoyable.

  • User reviews: We read countless user reviews on sites like Reddit to confirm that the platforms were legit and actually worked. We wanted our recommendations to be genuinely helpful.

Frequently Asked Questions


Yes! Online dating is actually ideal for introverts because it allows them to take their time getting to know someone and communicate on their own terms. Whether you're a social, thinking, anxious, or restrained (inhibited) introvert, online dating gives you the opportunity to be yourself without overthinking your interactions. Instead of worrying about making small talk or mustering up the courage to walk up to someone in person, you can cozy up on the couch and browse potential matches at your own pace.


Bumble is the best app for shy guys because of its famous women (and non-binary) message-first system. However, Bumble recently updated this rule in favor of its new "Opening Moves" feature, which lets women choose a question or prompt. Women can still message first, but now potential matches can also initiate a convo by replying to each user's chosen prompt.


Dating is difficult no matter your personality type, but introverts may find it more challenging due to their tendency to prefer solitude, need for deep connections, and discomfort with small talk and socializing in large groups. By using a dating app like Hinge or happn, introverts can feel more in control of their interactions and engage with others in a more comfortable and manageable way.


While we can’t definitively say there are zero introverts on Tinder, the app's notorious "hot-or-not" swiping culture and fast-paced, superficial nature make it a pretty poor fit for the average introvert. Pure, however, is an anonymous hookup app that isn’t so focused on photos (you don’t even have to share one if you don’t want to) and has multiple ways to connect before meeting up, which could help introverts who are trying to keep things low-key.


Yes, Once is a real dating app in the sense that it's a functioning app available for download, with thousands of downloads on the Google Play Store. However, Reddit users say the app is filled with fake profiles and is more of a pay-to-play app than anything else. For now, we're steering clear.


Yes! Hinge is our top pick for the best dating app for introverts overall. If you're over the Tinder scene but aren't ready for eharomny-level commitment, Hinge offers a happy medium. It's not too casual, not too serious, but juuuust right. Their profile features (like, prompts, photos, and videos) help make connecting with others easier. Plus, their "Hidden Words" feature lets you filter out any cringey stuff that might make you want to crawl back into your shell.


Dating can be tough for anyone, let alone introverted folks who struggle with small talk and crowded social settings. Here are a few tips to keep in mind:

Choose the right app: Dating apps can be a great way for introverts to meet potential matches, but not all dating apps are created equal. If something feels off, don't force it — your comfort and safety should always come first.

Authenticity: Focus on being authentic, whether through profile-building tools like questionnaires or open-ended prompts. Embrace your strengths as an introvert: your ability to listen deeply, your thoughtfulness, and your capacity for meaningful conversations (something not many people are capable of nowadays).

Take things slow: Don't rush into meeting up in person. Take your time getting to know your matches through messaging and video chats. And remember, rejection is a normal part of dating for everyone — try not to take it personally.

Be yourself: The most important thing is to be yourself. There's someone out there who will appreciate your introverted qualities and enjoy spending time with you just the way you are.

Mashable Image
Bethany Allard
Shopping Reporter

Bethany Allard is a Los Angeles-based shopping reporter at Mashable covering beauty tech, dating, sex and relationships, and headphones. That basically means she puts her hair through a lot, scrolls through a lot of dating apps, and rotates through a lot of different headphones. In addition to testing out and rounding up the best products, she also covers deals for Mashable, paying an especially obsessive amount of attention to Apple deals and prices. That knowledge comes in handy when she's covering shopping holidays like Prime Day and Black Friday, which she's now done for three years at Mashable.

She graduated from New York University with a B.A. in Journalism and English Literature. You can follow her on X @betallard and reach her by email at [email protected]. In her free time, you'll find her playing her Switch, hanging with her cat Mila, or cooking something new in her kitchen.

Mashable Image
Tabitha Britt
Freelance Writer

Tabitha Britt is a freelance writer, editor, SEO & content strategist. Aside from writing for Mashable, Tabitha is also the founding editor-in-chief of DO YOU ENDO — a digital magazine by individuals with endometriosis, for individuals with endometriosis. She has a Master's degree in Creative Publishing and Critical Journalism from The New School of Social Research and is a grad of Sextech School. You can find more of her work in various online pubs, including National Geographic, Insider, Kinkly, and others.

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